An Awesome Valentine

A truly awesome person gives their valentine a heart-shaped box of chocolates. Of course, this box of chocolates was not a normal box -- it was an awesome box.

As she opens it, chocolate explosions go off -- seriously, not some sort of poorly-written-food-review taste explosion, but the chocolate-covered firecrackers spin off into the air and explode. Shaken but still smiling (though forced), she picks up another one and takes a bite to be met by the overwhelming taste of bacon.

"Chocolate covered bacon," says the man excitedly, "and every other form of pork's in there too -- even boar!"

Sadly, after slowly consuming 2/3rds of the box over a period of a few days, she exploded in a gigantic ball of awesome, too much awesome having built up and evolved her into a form of sentient energy. Well, maybe it was just a gigantic explosion caused by chocolate-covered dynamite, but, really, who can tell these days.